Accountability – model where we hold ourselves accountable.
First we have to hold ourselves acountable – Here is what I am commited to, and by when. What needs to be changed without blame or guilt, what is accomplished with recognition. Cleaning up the mess without feeling wrong. Holding yourself accountable.
Then we can invite others to do that, ask them how things went, what is the status of their previous commitment, without blaming others. Let them hold themselves accountable. What got on the way? What patterns came up for you? What deffenses and fears came up? Would you like it to go differently? Invite them to choose.
Reflection – Letting them see what you can see without making them wrong.
Asking them questions like: “Do you feel fear?”, “What does this fear lead you to do?”, “What are the consequences?” This allows them to reflect on themselves.
You can reflect something to someone and they can feel wrong and they can get present to that wrongness and take responsibility from this place. We can help them to get present.